My last blog post from 2015 remained frozen in time, back when I learned about Melbourne’s literary community. During that time, I was a fanfiction writer and a carer with an e-cargobike, who slowly cycled around the inner west suburbs of Melbourne.

Since then, my fannish behaviour moved from fandom to meeting authors in real life. I found myself pedalling outside my comfort zone, fangirling local authors & attending literary events. I even followed them on social media. Eventually, by 2016, I joined two local writing groups.

Because I don’t drive a car, my cargobike was my everyday transport.  Equipped with a battery and a pedal-assist motor, I easily cycled to and from writing groups and writers’ events with ease.  My published works (non-fiction and artwork) reflected how integral cycling was in my writing life.

But there were limitations:  I couldn’t put my cargobike on to the train (due to its bigger-than-usual wooden box) and regional train operator V/Line would not guarantee a place in their cargo hold when I was keen to attend regional literary festivals.


cargobike pic at Braybrook Hub.jpg
Christiania cargobike parked across the new Braybrook Hub

In 2017, the unexpected happened: my e-cargobike broke down and none of the west-side bicycle shops could fix it. To make matters worse, the distributor had moved interstate. Even a highly recommended, specialised bicycle shop located northside of Melbourne was unable to locate the fault.  I ended up only using the cargobike for school runs two blocks from home; and an old trike (which had sat in our garage for the longest time) became my kid-free ride.

My trips to attend different literary events became limited – I would cancel at the last minute when I realised I wouldn’t make it on time with my trike.   Share rides (Uber and Shebah) were options, but they ate up what little money I received as an emerging writer and carer—money that could have gone towards other necessities instead.

Braybrook Hub’s library became my sanctuary, my haven.  It was where I would write while my kids were in school, which was two blocks away.

Braybrook library pic.jpg
view from the state-of-the-art Braybrook library

I hope one day to own a step-through e-folding bicycle, to make my trips to writing group sessions and local literary events easier and more accessible.  I could even attend regional literary festivals, loading the e-folder with ease onto regional trains without worrying about space.

And as a writer of colour, regular attendance to different literary events would add diversity and representation (woman of colour/carer/disability/mental health) to a usually homogeneous audience.

For now, loading the trike on the local train during non-peak hours help me get to West Writers Group sessions at Footscray Community Art Centre just in the nick of time.


Gomier trike

Cargobike and Writers Festivals

Thanks to Twitter, attending writing festivals began as an accidental affair.

It all started when I won a pair of tickets from bicycle magazine Treadlie for an event called Paperback Riders,  where books and bicycles, two of my favourite things, came together in an event so close to home. I couldn’t resist the lure of a fun, slow ride along Melbourne’s Maribyrnong River.

23rd August 2014. Maribyrnong River, Footscray.

A couple of months later, I won a one-year subscription to Writers Victoria

An awareness of local writing events slowly bloomed; an attraction that was palpable, inviting, alluring even.  There were different writing festivals spread throughout the year, and ticket prices were very affordable, were heavily subsidised by generous event sponsors, and even offered concession rates.

In February 2015, Digital Writers Festival   offered session attendees the opportunity to participate from the comfort of their own homes, using their own computers and stable internet connection.

Because I write romantic, shippy FanFiction, I signed up for their session “Writers’ Night School: Sex Writing” that helped fine-tune one of my het fanfic stories.

Around the same time, I began attending Life Drawing classes at Footscray Arts.  It was my dream to learn how to draw people. However, midway through the school year, I struggled to find a balance between writing FanFiction and drawing.  Why was it so difficult to find time practising my new drawing skills versus writing FanFiction, while parenting two young kiddies? Was this normal among parents with the creative streak?


The answer to my constant confusion and struggle came in the form a tweet. My favourite artist Lily Mae Martin, whom I follow on Twitter, tweeted she would be in a panel discussion at Williamstown Literary Festival for a newly launched book edited  by Rachel Power, called Motherhood and Creativity: The Divided Heart

Without hesitation, I prepped my cargobike and pedalled my way to the seaside suburb of Williamstown.


I never imagined I’d find answers to one of life’s questions through a writers festival. Armed with new insights (and a newly-signed book), the discovery that day was interesting, fascinating even.


By August, Melbourne Writers Festival (MWF) had an amazing list of events that were either free or heavily-subsidised, concession priced tickets.  They even had weekend sessions that fit my schedule perfectly.


With the recently-completed bicycle lanes in the west side of Melbourne, cargobiking all the way to Melbourne’s CBD was finally stress-free and easy.

Parking the three-wheeled cargobike without the need for a bicycle rack / hoop.

One of the MWF sessions “The Art of Storytelling” piqued my interest straightaway. Not only was was the session led by memoirist Lee Kofman, the event was at a new library located at Docklands.

22nd August 2015. Lee Kofman at Melbourne Writers Festival, Library at the Docks, Melbourne
Cargobike parked outside Library at the Docks, Docklands, Melbourne

Also, I couldn’t miss the clever collaboration of MWF, Writers Victoria, and Romance Writers of Australia (RWA). Coinciding with RWA’s annual conference in Melbourne this year, MWF included sessions about the Romance genre.  I attended an event session “A Romantic Career” at the Wheeler Centre‘s Performance Space.

22nd August 2015.  Romance novelists Australian Anne Gracie and American Mary Jo Putney in conversation with Kate Cuthbert. Wheeler Centre, Melbourne.

By November 2015, I’ve gone full circle.

Emboldened, I signed up to attend a series of writing workshops at Footscray Arts called “West Writers – Our Stories


It was where I had my first taste and introduction into the world of literary journals, thanks to their workshop session led by Ellena Savage, editor of The Lifted Brow.


The beauty of all these writing festivals was that even a carer / stay-at-home-mum, with minimal discretionary budget, could attend such intellectually stimulating events, without hurting the hip pocket; and all a cargobike ride away.

Thank you, Melbourne. You’re not only the most livable city in the world from 2011 to 2015, as a UNESCO City of Literature, you’re also a city for writers.


I look forward to 2016 with more writing adventures beyond FanFiction.

My sanity

Today’s the last day of two weeks’ worth of school term break here in Australia.  All my bears are in bed now.  Finally, I have a bit of me-time, some quiet time, before another round of organised chaos begins tomorrow.


When the first term of the school year concluded just before Easter holidays, we couldn’t believe we’d survived it.  The journey of firsts was epic:

Miss4yo started kindergarten.  She got sick first week of kindergarten.

Miss8yo, now Grade 3 / Year 3, is in an accelerated class.

And me, on the cargobike, shuttling two kids, with two different schedules in the local Kindergarten and Primary School.

Oh, and miss4’s multitude of appointments, with her different sessions from the Early Childhood Intervention Service providers, and medical appointments.

The bright spot in all the organised chaos, was my art therapy, my sanity.  Every Wednesday, I attended @FootscrayArts Life Drawing classes.

I’ve never done this before, and I shakily started drawing.  And when I got home, I would often find myself in tears.

Because I could never have imagined I would be drawing like this. Ever.  Not at age forty-one.  Not when all I’ve dreamed of since after finishing high school was a degree in Fine Arts (i was relegated to a business course at a prestigious catholic university instead)

But oh, the relief, the swelling of emotion, the joy, to get lost in the art, like time stood still for me.

Art was my sanity…


…from a terrible federal government that reduced benefits and funding for families, children with disabilities, and carers.

We were told there wasn’t enough money / benefits / funding to go around.

Miss4yo, who despite being accepted in a normal / regular kindergarten, was granted only half of her kindergarten hours for a teacher’s aide.

Miss8yo’s primary school had their funding reduced (is it true that government schools only gets $100 per child?) and the Educational Maintenance Allowance was removed.

My respite hours were reduced. According to care service provider Mecwacare, the local council, City of Brimbank couldn’t any fund my extra hour of travel time to-and-from art school.  I emailed both council and service provider, appealing to maintain my meager four hours of respite, and the email replies I received left me in utter disbelief and despair: Brimbank denied they were paying the funding, mecwacare insisted otherwise, and they can’t do anything about it.

The final nail in the coffin, so to speak, was food budgeting. With the new Centrelink mobile app, we are now stringently required to report to them fortnightly, our family and carer benefits were reduced drastically, and the battle to stretch hubby’s once-a-month paycheck has – to put it mildly – gone critical.

The last few days before the fifteenth of every month seem to stretch on forever.

And as the millennials would say…

I can’t even. 

During the dark days when I feel I can’t even breathe, even after taking my SSRI meds for my mental health,

I turn to my inner fangirl, for that moment of escape, to push away the despair, madness and tears,

and draw Voltron Force   Fanart and write Voltron  FanFiction.


My wonderful social worker Kate O, through her amazing resourcefulness, found a generous organisation to fund both my art class and my extra hour of respite. Thank you so much, for the much needed respite and relief, for that lifeline.  I am eagerly looking forward to Life Drawing Term 2.

Because #Melbourne


I love Melbourne.

World’s Most Livable City, fourth year in a row

World’s Friendliest City 2014

voted as having the World’s Best Coffee 2014

I love my city, where I cargobike on its fledging, imperfect bicycle lanes;

I love my my local Twitter community, where we share common hashtags #wefo #Footscray #melbswest and #Melbourne:

they are all amazing and beautiful individuals:

those who cycle and advocate bicycle infrastructure;

fellow fangirls;

those who love coffee and chocolate;

 the local (cargobike-friendly) cafes

and their cafe owners who follow back on Twitter

and their scrumptious local food and superb coffee,

where I meet for tweetups, or have some me-time to write my fanfiction;

the amazing farmers and stall owners at the local farmers’ market.

I love fellow Melbournians, we can easily strike up a conversation with anyone, ask directions from anyone and openly help (especially when I get lost on many of my cargobike rides).

cubbie cargobike


I have all the fluffy, lovely feelings right now, because of all the support I  received throughout this difficult year, that:

despite the current Australian government being a total arsehat 
by reducing carer, family, and disability funding, 
the effects of which we immediately felt in August 
when my respite hours were slashed without any warning;  

despite the threat of Medicare co-payment 
which raised my anxiety and blood pressure levels sky high; 

despite my daughter continue to battle 
the long-term effects of chemotherapy: 
her constantly low immunity levels 
on her second year of remission
from blood cancer;

despite my constant worry that she would 
relapse each time she struggles 
to get better and overcome any infection
And despite all the Twitter trolls and the nerd rage,

there is kindness in my world;

there are beautiful, amazing, and generous people whom I barely even know,

who send empathic tweets and direct messages during my mercurial days;

who are so supportive and even take time to tweetup despite my mercurial tweets.

who showed so much generosity in many different ways;

we say,

Thank you.

And finally, just want to share the art pieces I made this year,

cubbieberry-photo-of-cubbie-artwork-of-her-bears with portrait of my bears (ages 8 and 4)


and an artwork I made for my first fanfiction editor @AHLondonTX

based from a handcrafted teapot by

Sydney potter Tanya Bechara @HopnFrogPottery

Thank you @CarersVictoria for funding this year’s art classes at @footscrayarts

Thank you @mecwacare for finding amazing carers for our smallest bear.

Thank you to my support worker from Specialist Children’s Services for finding funding for my respite hours.

Thank you.

Not done yet…

June 28, 2014 is not only our 12th wedding anniversary, it is also our younger daughter’s 2nd year of remission from cancer.

We’ve had a couple of close calls this year, as her blood counts remain ever so low.  This week was our toughest challenge to date:  she is battling a common cold/cough virus since winter started.  And despite antibiotics, it has been a slow crawl to recovery.  She also just received her first set of hearing aids.

So, we’re not done yet with cancer and her other special needs.

Which leads me to my art project, my beloved art therapy at @footscrayarts, funded by @carersvictoria.  Still not done.

artschool1 artschool2 artschool3 artschool4 artschool5


It’s getting there, but you can’t rush art.  I know I will eventually finish, and I’m already envisioning my next art project.

So, art…we’re done yet.  We’re still a work-in-progress.

And finally, fanfiction. (WTH is fanfiction anyway?)

My writing therapy. My multi-chapter fanfiction is nearly done, one more chapter and an epilogue.  But the fanfiction universe I’m building, is not yet complete.  Will eventually complete the story arc.  But, like everything else, it’ll take time.

I know…I’m slow.  I love slow.  There’s even a slow movement out there, if you’d like to know.

I can only do one day at a time, I don’t even know what tomorrow will bring.

All I know one thing.

I’m not done yet.



One more art class / session left and my two girls are still nowhere near complete.


Love constant learning.
Subtly adjusting,
you’ll see two siblings.






This project is different,
they’re my children you see;
I love them both so tenderly.
I know them by heart
thus i’ve chosen as
models for my art:

A toddler with Down Syndrome
who has gone thru open heart surgery,
has hearing impairment and cancer.
And despite all that,
little miss3yo is such a trouper.
She especially loves and adores
her big sister.


Looks like i need go to back to for school year Term2 to complete this art project.

til next update,

let’s make good art.

Art is back!

Aaaaand we’re back!

Thank you @CarersVictoria for funding Term1 school fee for Advance Drawing and Painting at @FootscrayArts


thank you @mecwacare for respite while I mindfully savour / relish and enjoy my art therapy.

This school term, I began once again with daunting blank page *gulps*


My project this term will be “Two Girls”.  But they are not just any two random girls. These two bears are my daughters (ages 7.5yo and 3.5yo when the photo was taken).




And this year’s muse (aka inspiration to draw) is straight from my favourite fandom Voltron, from the ongoing Voltron / Robotech crossover comics. The bright anime-style art by Elmer Damaso continues to make #KeithAndAllura fans and shippers around the world swoon.

Here is my latest anime art selfie (giggles)


Apart from drawing, I continue to write Voltron Force fanfiction with hubby Chris (who continues to draw #Voltron Force fan comics / fanart)

And while our littlest bear has Down Syndrome and cancer,  she was officially declared with hearing impairment late last year and currently required to wear a hearing aid headband.

Both drawing and writing are helping to keep me me sane with littlest bear’s bazillion medical appointments and home sessions with Aurora School for the Deaf.

Two Boys were framed

We took time off this third term from art class as bub hasn’t been well much of winter (June-August is winter in southern hemisphere).

And my two boys have been hanging around for nearly two weeks now at @FootscrayArts Gabriel Gallery


So, bub and I cargobiked our way to Footscray


(with stunning view of the Maribyrnong River and Melbourne)


visited ‘lil Keith and ‘lil Lance and saw their handsome cheeky faces all framed and on exhibit.


My very first art exhibit ever (^o^)


Thank you @carersvictoria for art therapy.  Hope bub will be well enough by springtime so i can continue do make good art (^o^)

My Own Version of Keith


Named after a character from the 80s cartoon series Voltron, the little boy on the right is Keith, while his friend on the left I’ve named Lance, after one of Keith’s best buddies and second-in-command of the Voltron Force.

I read somewhere that when you give something intangible a name, it helps ground that concept, giving it a personality, a life of its own, and eventually owning it / making it your own little version.  So, finally after eleven weeks of art sessions, these two cheeky boys are ready to be framed and hopefully i get to see them on display at our art class’ exhibit at @footscrayarts by mid-July.

And what a way to end the term: today, the 28th of June, marks not only my eleventh wedding anniversary with hubby Christian, it also marks our younger daughter’s first year remission from blood cancer.

We didn’t get to celebrate our tenth anniversary last year as Christa had her final cancer blood test last year.  The blood test required a lumbar puncture under general anaesthesia to determine if the cancer cells responded well to intensive eight-month-long chemotherapy treatments.

So, a cartoon character, a painting, an anniversary and bloody effing cancer.

Here’s an indulgent post/anecdote I wrote as my anniversary pressie to the man i married eleven years ago who is my own version of Keith.


From days of long ago (sometime in the mid-1980s)…

From uncharted regions of the universe (actually a private & rather new all-girl Catholic high school run by Italian nuns, in the middle of a sprawling suburb)…

Comes a legend (nah, just a geek.)…

Unlike today where geeks rule the world *grin*, back then, geeks were in the lower strata of the social pecking order.   Geeky, introverted, bespectacled  high school teenagers, who were always  amongst the top 10 students in a batch of 80, had one thing to look forward to on Friday evenings…

…to turn on the TV and see our first toon crush: Commander Keith of the Voltron Force. We dreamed of someone who would save us from school bullies, and fly us away in a robot lion, away from our nagging, overly-strict parents.

I was one of those geeks, and I was just 14 back then.

In the many years since there were other cartoons, anime, etcetera, that filled the void left by the end of the Voltron series.  We were college students then. We had moved on.  Life in the real world happened.


I have been married for 11 years now to Christian.  We have two beautiful daughters aged 7 and 3, and we have just gone through the toughest parenting ordeal: our 3-year-old, born with an extra chromosome, (who had open-heart surgery at 3 months of age and almost died )  was diagnosed with cancer  when she was 18 months old.  It was a long, hard trek, but our little family came out on top.  We had gone through hell and back and survived.

I suddenly found myself in a time warp.  Just before I hit the big 4-0, I discovered that our beloved 80s cartoon had a new sequel series called Voltron Force.  The protagonists had suddenly all grown up, just like we did.  Not only did they look older, they had bigger responsibilities, kick-ass new abilities, and seemed a bit better developed as characters, more mature than their 80s versions.

And hubby suddenly remembered what I had told him ages ago (and I’d completely forgotten about), that he was my Keith.

I would never claim to be just like the princess (I am not a willowy blonde, nor do I have green/blue eyes), but I, like many geeky fangirls, would love to have Keith for myself.

Well, guess what?  I do have my own version of “Keith”: he is strong, much taller than me,  handsome (and he doesn’t even know it), and has light brown eyes.  He was my secret crush, who became my best friend, who became my first boyfriend, who became my fiancé, and he is now my husband. He protected me, he never left my side, and he held me tight through the worst battles of our lives.


mercurialmum aka cubbieberry

two cheeky smiles

Two more art sessions to go and it will be the end of the second term.  Everyone else in the class was doing oil landscape paintings.

Except me.

Why?  Because I wanted to try something challenging, something beyond my comfort zone.  And to see two cheeky faces coming to life through each session is so worth the challenge



getting Little Keith’s smile and eyes right was tricky


Then when things were okay with Little Keith, i moved on to draw Little Lance.  Once again, it was daunting being faced with a blank space



And the angle, facial structure and colours were all totally different



There were lots of doubts, *headwalls* and *headdesks* about whether i chose something too difficult…


Until i saw two pairs of smiling eyes today


as if to say … you’re nearly there… we’ve come a long way.

Two more sessions to go with my two boys.

Finish line is nearly there.